Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
