We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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