Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Enjoy the penises
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
