So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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