I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
