what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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