We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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