I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
