a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
