Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
