we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It's shark week go big or go home
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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