Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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