using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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