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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
