I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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