So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
