Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
