I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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