well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
