He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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