it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
