I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
