Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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