I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
