So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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