he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize