North Korea, Best Korea!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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