Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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