Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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