he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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