She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
