dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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