Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
