We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize