:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize