i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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