We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
