definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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