I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize