I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize