You really coming over, don't trick.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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