I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
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oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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