Cold hands, warm shart.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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