It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
