I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So much rum. So many feels.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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