Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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