i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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