I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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