hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
