My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
