I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize