areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
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