you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
