I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
