spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
