New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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