Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Randomize